Sunday, August 30, 2009

Things I Hate (part 1)

Well, it's time for my first rant. Here's part one of "Things I Hate" in easy-to-read list form:

Loud bogans on public transport:

I don't want to hear your music that you insist on sharing with half the bus, I don't want to hear your one-sided mobile conversations that you bellow out to everyone on the train and I especially don't want to hear about how shitfaced you were on the weekend or about one of your friends or relatives going out with someone or about a friend's boyfriend's foibles. I also don't want to smell the fact that you haven't showered for three days or that you had garlic for lunch. So shut up, have a shower and we can sit next to each other on the bus.

People who lean on their horn if the car in front of them doesn't move the second the light turns green: 

While I agree that people who don't pay attention to traffic lights are annoying, do you honestly expect everyone to take off like race car drivers? Give patience a try, you might like it.

Or for that matter, people who feel compelled to honk their horn as they drive down my street:

Seriously, STOP IT. OK, your car has a horn. Do you feel like a big man because you can use it?

People who shout incomprehensible things out of car windows as they drive past groups of people walking on the street:

protip: NOBODY CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SHOUTING. IT'S CALLED THE DOPPLER EFFECT. YOU JUST LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT DOING IT.

Tabloid journalism:

I'm almost certainly going to address this again in this blog. Today Tonight, A Current Affair, The Daily Telegraph, I'm looking at you. And don't think I haven't got my eye on you too, Sydney Morning Herald. You've gone downmarket just like the other tabloids.

Procrastination:

I'll write this one later.


3 comments:

  1. holy shit you too have a blog

    how have you not killed me yet, i must qualify for half the shit on this list

    ReplyDelete
  2. Are you a loud bogan on public transport or a tabloid journalist?

    ReplyDelete
  3. loud bogan

    though in my defence i only turn my music up so loud to drown out all the other loud bogans

    ReplyDelete